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Why Oprah for President


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#1 johnnyhusker82

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Posted 07 February 2018 - 08:01 PM

Hi, I'm Oprah. 

I'm the spokesperson for Weight Watchers but can't control my weight.

I tell you how to run your marriage but I can't commit to marriage.

I tell you how to raise your kids but I don’t have any.

I am very spiritual, but don’t go to any church or identify as Christian.

Even though I knew about Weinstein and the casting couch, I was silent, but I support the Me Too movement.

I am racist to the core, but blacks can’t really be racist, so that doesn’t count.

I’m black and female, so I check all the boxes.

I praised Denmark for their Socialism, though I am a billionaire due to Capitalism, the economic system that allowed a dirt-poor child from Mississippi to rise to world-renowned fame and wealth.

The first time I openly endorsed a presidential candidate it was a black one, Obama.

Before a black candidate, I was not political.

 

Vote for me, and I will give you transformational change, the kind you got from Obama!


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#2 fdbrian

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Posted 08 February 2018 - 01:38 PM

you just described a priest in a bunch of those.



#3 AZ Husker

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Posted 08 February 2018 - 06:15 PM

I saw no mention of little boys in those lines


What the fuck





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