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[johnnyhusker82]

Been posted before, i think, but worth a redux.


These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers.

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old,
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

FREE PUPPIES
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 gay bull for sale.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.

Statement of the Century:
Thought from the Greatest Living Scottish Thinker--Billy Connolly.
"If women are so bloody perfect at multi-tasking,
How come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?"