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#1 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:24 AM

My ordination in the ULC finally came through. I can now perform weddings, listen to confessions, preside over funerals, and mentor presidential candidates. I'm still exploring the tax implications - I was warned by the church hierarchy that when it comes to taxes, "thou art on thy own." The Lord works in mysterious ways. God Bless America and God Bless and Keep You. Amen.
Reverend Yossarian

#2 Scrotum McDick

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:40 AM

QUOTE(Yossarian @ Apr 29 2008, 11:24 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My ordination in the ULC finally came through. I can now perform weddings, listen to confessions, preside over funerals, and mentor presidential candidates. I'm still exploring the tax implications - I was warned by the church hierarchy that when it comes to taxes, "thou art on thy own." The Lord works in mysterious ways. God Bless America and God Bless and Keep You. Amen.
Reverend Yossarian


Tell me your kidding....

NEBRASKA, THE HOME OF THE MAROON, SILVER, AND BLACK!


#3 atlHUSKER

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:47 AM

If he's not...this is pure comedy GOLD! icon_mrgreen.gif
Who the fuck is atlHUSKER?
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#4 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:53 AM

QUOTE(harstad @ Apr 29 2008, 11:40 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Tell me your kidding....

Check your PMs...


#5 ashtonhusker

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 10:56 AM

Satan would be proud.











I must confess.........Oh Yoss I have sinned.

#6 atlHUSKER

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:01 AM

will you get a ring that everyone must kiss?
Who the fuck is atlHUSKER?
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#7 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:01 AM

QUOTE(ashtonhusker @ Apr 29 2008, 11:56 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Satan would be proud.
I must confess.........Oh Yoss I have sinned.


I must warn you that absolution of your sins might involve blowing "Gabriel's Horn."

#8 mNhhh

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:03 AM

Over 20 million "ministers" ordained since 1959 emot-xd.gif

And yours "finally came through"? What was the hold up...background check? fyoucchorn.gif

111px-091407-USCNeb-HerbieHusker.jpgimage818_1.gif  unicorn_pride_07-25-071.jpg


#9 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE(atlHUSKER @ Apr 29 2008, 12:01 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
will you get a ring that everyone must kiss?


The ring, robe, and other gear are available. The fact is that I can marry people...

I can forgive everyone of their sins, but I suspect we'd need a whole 'nuther room to do that

#10 atlHUSKER

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:04 AM

QUOTE(mileNhalfhighhusker @ Apr 29 2008, 01:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Over 20 million "ministers" ordained since 1959 emot-xd.gif

And yours "finally came through"? What was the hold up...background check? fyoucchorn.gif


he had to prove that he'd uphold the child molestation quota



fyoucchorn.gif fyoucchorn.gif
Who the fuck is atlHUSKER?
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#11 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:06 AM

QUOTE(mileNhalfhighhusker @ Apr 29 2008, 12:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Over 20 million "ministers" ordained since 1959 emot-xd.gif

And yours "finally came through"? What was the hold up...background check? fyoucchorn.gif


Posting on Redout almost killed my ordination. The Sal is Dead thing saved my ass since God wears the scarlet and cream.

God Bless You, Brother Half.

#12 Scrotum McDick

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:06 AM

Awesome. When is Church?

If Yoss, can do it, I can do it.

Wait, can I still swear? If I can't say fuck, that's a deal breaker....

NEBRASKA, THE HOME OF THE MAROON, SILVER, AND BLACK!


#13 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:08 AM

QUOTE(atlHUSKER @ Apr 29 2008, 12:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
he had to prove that he'd uphold the child molestation quota
fyoucchorn.gif fyoucchorn.gif


You're confusing me with the church that's been ordaining priests since 30AD.

God Bless You and Your Hot Chocolate Loved One.

#14 HuskerFan

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:08 AM

QUOTE(Yossarian @ Apr 29 2008, 12:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
The fact is that I can marry people...

LBuff wants to know if the ULC sanctions gay marriage, and if Reverend Yossarian is availble to perform the holy union ceremony with his life partner.


#15 mNhhh

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:10 AM

Is this your cathedral?

If so part the Red Sea:



111px-091407-USCNeb-HerbieHusker.jpgimage818_1.gif  unicorn_pride_07-25-071.jpg


#16 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:11 AM

QUOTE(harstad @ Apr 29 2008, 12:06 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Awesome. When is Church?

If Yoss, can do it, I can do it.

Wait, can I still swear? If I can't say fuck, that's a deal breaker....


Church guidance suggests "Fuck Thee"; "Suck My Rod"; and Eateth Shit and Die" as appropriate epithets.

Thanks for asking, and God Bless Thee Othello.

#17 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:12 AM

QUOTE(mileNhalfhighhusker @ Apr 29 2008, 12:10 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is this your cathedral?

If so part the Red Sea:


Amen, Brother. GBR, GBR, GBR!

#18 Scrotum McDick

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:12 AM

Im going to do it.

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#19 Yossarian

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:15 AM

QUOTE(HuskerFan @ Apr 29 2008, 12:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
LBuff wants to know if the ULC sanctions gay marriage, and if Reverend Yossarian is availble to perform the holy union ceremony with his life partner.


The ULC does not discriminate in any way. Brother LBuff should, however, remain silent regarding his status as an attorney. Apparently being a butt fucker/fuckee is preferred to those of the legal profession.

God Bless Thee, Brother HF.

#20 HuskerFan

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Posted 29 April 2008 - 11:18 AM

I heard some juvenile delinquents talking about trampling on your lawn, Reverend Y., to see if you have the power to smite them.




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